Friday, April 3rd.
I woke up at 6am to call the hospital and was told I could go in at 8:00am-8:30am.
Micah hadn't packed yet so he quickly packed while I got Livi up and dressed for the day. She's pretty shy/nervous around people when she first sees them and I was scared she'd be clinging to me when she saw Dianne out on the couch, but she was actually really smiley and ok with her thank goodness. I had a really hard time saying goodbye to her.. Seriously how do you leave this little sweet thing?
Dianne brought over some fun new things for Liv so she was super distracted and we slipped out while she was playing with her new baby and Minnie Mouse shoes.
Around 9am we got to the hospital and checked in and went to our room, got into the super sexy gown, and got comfy.
My nurse and a student came in to start my IV around 10am aaaaaaand it was pretty rough. The student tried to place the IV but couldn't get it. My veins are awesome ps and have zero problems popping out or roll when I'm getting blood draws or IV's. Soooooo yeah this was totally new for me and incredibly painful. She blew the vein (which means it was no longer viable to use for the IV and I had pretty decent bleeding) and the nurse had to take over. My nurse placed the IV although she had problems too.. It would only push fluid thru if she pulled the tubing back a bit.. I think she placed it right into a valve. Oh the joys! Then my nurse went to check my dilation and seriously felt like she was reaching for my brain. Goodness! It was the worst pelvic check I've ever had. Ugh. Things were really looking up from the very beginning haha! But I was still at a 2, about 50% effaced.
Once the pitocin started flowing it was just a waiting game.
Micah and I listened to my little man's heart beat and caught up on some of our tv shows.
Micah slept for a little while... Aka for like 2 hours!
I played on my Nintendo DS & Pinterest. I slept so crappy the night before and had just barely managed to nod off but then a nurse came in and asked if I needed anything. Seriously! I didn't page anyone, she didn't check any of my levels or anything. Uuuugh so annoying! No sleep for me. :(
Around 1:00pm a doctor rounding came in to break my water. She started to attempt it and I just about leaped off the bed.. It was SO painful! I forgot when I had my water broken with Liv I had already had my epidural. Sooo that was next up on the agenda.
The anesthesiologist, Dr. Edwards, came in around 1:30pm and put my epidural in. Last time my epidural wasn't done correctly.. It twisted around in my back 180 degrees so it was pointing to my head not my hips, so by the time I was pushing to have Livi, I literally felt everything. I had an unintentional natural birth. Kill me. This time, the doc was way more efficient. He took small steps, talked to me the whole time through, and did it just right.
The nurses turned my pitocin up to 22 after that and let the contractions rage on. I was dilated to a 3.
At 3:00pm my doctor came in to check on me and broke my water. Way better being mostly numb than feeling that torture!!
We waited and waited and waited. I got so hungry, only able to eat ice cubes and gross popsicles. :(
At 5:00pm I had dilated to a 5 and had effaced 80%. Moooore waiting.
At 7:20pm I was still only a 5, close to a 6, and still only 80% effaced. My doc placed a monitor just inside my uterus to determine the strength of the contractions to see if they could up the pitocin more, without stressing out our little man.
At 8:00pm they determined it was safe enough and my contractions were intense enough that they could increase it, so they upped the dose to 26.
Just after that I started feeling incredibly nauseated. I hadn't eaten all day and had only eaten a muffin for breakfast. When I don't eat regularly it really affects me so I asked my nurse for zofran. At the same time, my contractions started getting really intense and my epidural stopped being as effective. When my nurse came in, I asked her to call the anesthesiologist for me too.. While we waited I genuinely began to have a mini panic moment.. Ok a major panic moment. I was really weak from not eating and was in a lot of pain.. Not to mention I remembered how painful Olive's birth was and I really was scared of the coming hours. As I lay on the bed waiting, the words from the blessing I was given just the night before popped into my head, of strength and that everything would be alright.. I took a lot of comfort from that and prayed that I'd be strong enough to handle Lincoln's birth.
The anesthesiologist came in around 9:00pm and redosed me as my nurse gave me zofran. My nurse checked me and I had dilated to a 9+, fully effaced! No wonder I was feeling like dying!
Dianne brought dinner for Micah right then so he ran downstairs and came back up & quickly ate.. Right by me! Jerk. I was so hungry.
My doctor came in and we chatted for a little bit while the nurses set up everything for the birth. It was such a surreal and different moment than my last experience.. I was in so much pain last time I didn't even see any set up or care to have small talk with the nurses. This time I was properly numb and actually really enjoyed myself. The staff was laughing and joking and Dr. Hutchison (my OB) was really laid back. It was exactly what I needed.
At 9:50pm my doc had me start to push! Micah held my right leg and the nurse held my left. They have you push during contractions for 10 seconds, 3 times. I was numb enough to not feel the pain of the contractions, but yet aware enough of when they were happening. I could feel pressure not pain, which is exactly what they want you to be at. SUCH a difference than last time!!
After about 5 minutes of really really easy pushing, Lincoln's head was out! Again, last time I was in so much pain I didn't care to see Olive until after I had pushed her out.. But this time I leaned forward and saw my beautiful little man.. Rephrase, BIG man! His head looked huge with lots of dark hair! But just when I thought I was in the homestretch, Dr. Hutch had me stop. He was really serious and said to just not push, to just breathe. The umbilical chord was wrapped around Lincoln's neck.. Twice. Hutch tried to move it around to be able to loop it off of his head but it was just too tight. He had Micah quickly step up and cut the chord then he pulled Linc out.
They placed Lincoln on my chest and I was a ball of tears! He was big and warm, such a blessing and miracle baby. As I looked down at his pudgy cheeks, I realized he was really blue! He wasn't crying and wasn't moving.. The nurses took him from me to clean him off and my heart was racing. Micah and I glanced at each other, exchanged a look of concern and he went over and see if Linc was doing alright. Dr. Hutchison was cleaning me up as I heard Lincoln's first little cry. He was alright! Such a relief! Micah took some pictures of him and stayed by his side as they cleaned him off and did their tests. He scored really low on the apgar test because he wasn't very responsive at first and really wasn't a good "healthy" color. After a few minutes though he gained better color and was more active, thank goodness.
He was 9lbs and 20.5in. Big boy!
My doctor and nurses left the room to give Micah and I time with our new perfect little son. I nursed him and Micah held him and we were able to enjoy some alone time, just the three of us. I really wish we had done that with Olive, but my whole family was already waiting outside the doors and literally came in minutes after I had Olive. This was the way to go. So laid back and mellow, just us.
We were moved to a new room on the new mom's unit at midnight and my family met us there. My sweet amazing sister brought me In N Out burger & fries, yessss!!!! They stayed for only a little bit then left so we could have our rest. Surprisingly I wasn't very tired anymore.. I felt really really good.. And I hadn't even taken any pain meds yet! Just like a work out, child birth gives you a rush of endorphins. ;)
Micah and I settled into our room and a nurse came to check on Lincoln around 2am. She told us he had a heart murmur and he'd need to be checked more thoroughly with a blood pressure check on each limb. She also said his blood sugars were a little low and because he was LGA (large for gestational age) they would need to monitor that every few hours to make sure he could maintain his sugars on his own. Olive was also LGA so the blood sugars wasn't too concerning to me, but the heart murmur scared me. I said a little prayer in my heart as they wheeled him away.
We went to sleep after she brought Lincoln back from checking him.. Everything looked alright but they would need to repeat the murmur test the next morning. She said heart murmurs are really common and that they close up in most babies on their 2nd or 3rd day of life, which gave me a lot of relief. Fingers crossed Linc fell under that "common" category.
Saturday, April 4th.
The next few times I nursed Lincoln, he really didn't want anything to do with me & would lose it anytime I tried. He'd actually push me away and arch his back to pull off. So strange.
I had help from three different nurses, each of whom said I had perfect "equipment" hahaha and that Lincoln didn't have anything physically inhibiting him from nursing.. They couldn't figure out why he wouldn't do it.
He finally had a successful nursing sesh after several hours without him eating. It wasn't anything incredibly long or record breaking, but I was SO happy and proud of him and us! My little man was just a sleepy babe and would frequently fall asleep so we had to be super annoying to him to keep him awake. I put a cold wet wipe on his back, Micah played the Zelda theme song loudly (his nickname is Linc and that's the main character in the game Zelda.. Not intentionally named after that video game ps).
Finally that milk coma face.
Micah gave Lincoln his first sponge bath, cleaned all the gunk out of his hair. He's got a lot of it!
My parents and Dianne & Lynn came by with Olive and I thought my heart was going to explode! I missed my sweet little Livi so much, it was so good to see her and head her darling little voice again. She was really curious about Lincoln, she wanted to steal his binky immediately haha but also really wanted to hold him. Such a sweet little soul.
Saturday day was a bit of a blur.. Spent attempting to nurse Lincoln and having friends and family come to visit.
Linc slept the whole night and morning without a peep.. Which was awesome yet a big problem.
Sunday Morning
Around 8am I tried to nurse & he just wouldn't do it. They checked his blood sugars again & it was just barely low. They need to be 45 and above and his had all been hovering around that number. The pediatrician on-call said we couldn't go home, that they needed to monitor Linc more and also that if he wasn't nursing that we had to supplement. Our other options were either an IV or a GI tube. We chose formula supplement.
We started him on a bottle of formula and he took it pretty well, a little weirded out by it at first, but drank the amount they wanted him to.
An hour later they checked his sugar and it was up to 72. Huge difference! It also sadly sealed our fate that he needed supplementing.
We found out that the reason he didn't want to nurse was because his blood sugars were so low, he was just exhausted. He had no energy to even want to eat.
Around lunch time on Sunday I was discharged and we were sent upstairs to the nursery so that Lincoln could stay monitored.
My parents and Lynn & Dianne came to give Lincoln a blessing. I was so drained emotionally and physically, so sad for my little man and so worried about our future I just couldn't relax. I was also truly a bit depressed because of the turn of events. I wanted to nurse him so badly & have that connection with him, be able to provide for him and be a better success story than my last nursing attempts so badly.. I felt like I was failing him already. The moment the blessing was finished I had an amazing feeling of relief wash over me. Micah was the one to give Lincoln the blessing and once again I had an overwhelming sense of love and comfort. We hugged our parents and said thank you's and they left.
Dianne also brought us Cafe Rio and it was truly the best salad I've ever had in my life. I don't even like their salads but this one was incredible.
Up in the nursery, Linc had to be on constant monitoring, hooked up to the machine and sleeping right by it. The "bed" that Micah and I got to sleep on was a tiny fold out couch. Awesome. My parents brought out a camping mattress that Micah slept on, on the floor. We both had a terrible night's rest but Lincoln was getting taken care of so that's all that mattered truly.
After one of the feedings during the night, I was staring at Lincoln thru the walls of his plastic crib, feeling really badly for him and our situation. I couldn't even begin to fathom how hard it must be on those parents of very sick babies that need months of hospital time. It was as I was staring at him that he gave me this adorable smile and I managed to grab a quick picture.
I started doing a different form of supplementing, where they taped a tiny tube onto my breast, which was attached to a bottle of formula. The process would drip formula very slowly from the tube, and the trick was Lincoln would be nursing on me, but getting formula as well as breastmilk. It took a lot of time setting up.. And I was doing it every 3 hours for about 40 minutes.. Which meant I slept like a turd, but at least Lincoln was eating.
Monday, April 6th.
The following day his blood sugars were perfect, heart murmur was cleared up, and I was feeling alright about the transitional nursing/supplementing process.
We loaded him up into the carseat and packed the car. Homeward bound!
When we walked inside our house, Liv was immediately reaching out for Lincoln. She wanted to hold him!
These two are going to be best buddies, I can tell.
Hopefully Lincoln will figure out nursing and I'll survive mommyhood to two kids!
xoxo
Mandi
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