Memorial Day 2015

Micah and I packed up the fam and headed south.. To St. George! 

Thursday, May 21st

We started a new tradition, where we go to St. George for Memorial Day, and go to Moab for Labor Day. So pics before the trip tradish!

Micah had some stores to visit for work and I had a 5k to run, so we packed the jeep and headed out! It was pretty stormy [and awesome], so the drive down was spent listening to the rain pelting the jeep. That and the occasional Nysnc that I could sneak in here and there. Love me some 90's boy bands!

Liv and Linc were awesome on the way down, barely a peep from them both until we were halfway there. Olive started getting tired and a little restless then so we gave her the iPad and let her go to town. It's kinda scary how amazing she is at using the iPad.. She can unlock it, scroll to the right page, open the folder where her games are, & select each game she wants to play. She even knows how to get back to the menu on the games or how to restart levels. Once she's bored with one game she simply closes the app and opens a new one. Scary good with technology. Anyway, she loved life for the rest of the drive. 

Zoey loved the seating arrangement. ;)

Olive was such a great sport, totally shared her chair with Zoey. 

Once we got into St. George, it was pretty late so we just crashed. Lincoln was asleep & totally mellow. Liv was awake till after 11pm.. But surprisingly enough she was totally happy still!

The hotel room had a fold out bed in the couch and since Liv sleeps in a toddler bed, I wanted to try it out and see if she slept better in that than in the pack n play... She has a hard time with pack n plays now. 

After a few minutes of introducing it to her as her bed & laying down with her, Livi totally fell asleep. She stayed asleep all night, despite Lincoln making noises and slept in till almost 9am. Woo!

Friday, May 22nd

I spent the day with the kiddos (and Zoey) in the hotel while Micah made his store visits. 

Liv was content to watch the Disney channel & jump on her bed. 

Livi has some mad skills with the pouty face. 

Linc slept & ate. That's all he ever does though haha!

While the babes were occupied & sleeping, I sewed. Because I knew I'd be in the hotel room all day, I wanted to be productive, so I brought my sewing machine & some new fabrics. 

Bibdanas for Lincoln! To make his lame baby clothes less lame.. And to catch the drool & slobbery milk when he eats. 

I also made a scarf for Olive & some more leggies for Lincoln, but forgot to take any pics. 

Once Micah was back & done with his work, we fed the kiddos again and headed out. 

Austin and Maegan were camping at Sand Hollow so we got dinner with them in town (at Freddy's!) and followed them to their camping spot. 

We threw sticks for Zoey to chase and she loved life! After being cooped up in the hotel room all day she was stoked to just run free and crazy. Livi was attempting to help and throw the stick too but it only went about 1 foot haha!

My cute little Olive was killin me with her smirks. 

After a little bit we headed out, Maegan following us to the gate. At sand hollow they close the gate at 10pm so she parked just inside it, with the plan for me to drop her off after the race. 

We hurried and changed into our running crap at my hotel and raced to the old airport. Our 5k was set in a beautiful location.. Right on top of the plateau   overlooking the city. We had only about 10 minutes to spare before the race began so we hurried and put our glow sticks together, ate our Gu, and pinned our numbers on. It was crazy busy there too! I wish I had taken a picture.. But there were a TON of people running! I didn't expect it to be that popular but it was really fun and full. 

The gunshot went off and we all ran. I hate being in the back with people passing me so I weaved thru the crowd and Maegan followed. Once we were out in the open we continued at our pace (10:40/mile) and ran the whole race together, finishing at 33:10. 

We got photobombed by one of the workers at the end, seriously hilarious!

Definitely not my fastest pace but I ran without stopping (even though I wanted to soooo badly!) and sprinted to the end. My downfall wasn't tired muscles or lungs bursting.. But rather nausea. I ate our dinner (burgers & fries) at 5pm then didn't eat anything till I took the Gu at 11pm.. And lemme tell you, Gu is disgusting but really works wonders. This time however my energy was great, my stomach was not. I literally felt like I was going to puke as I ran the last mile but soooo glad I didn't!

After we ate a few post race snacks I started to feel slightly more human. There was a glow party after the race with a dj playing music & a fog machine going but we didn't care to stay. We checked our times compared to others & headed out. In our age group we were literally right in the middle of the times. Numbers 19 & 20 out of 40. Good but I'm used to being in the top 10 so that was kinda hard for me. I had to keep reminding myself that I just had a baby one and a half months ago and to not compare myself to the other numbers. 

We walked back to my car (which was parked probably a half mile away, truly) and went to good old Denny's for a midnight celebratory dinner. Bacon and pancakes never tasted so good! Both of us were on a running high afterwards and totally slap happy giggly, it was so much fun. I dropped Maegan off to her car at like 1am and headed back to my hotel from there. 

Saturday, May 23rd

We had a lazy day on Saturday and it felt so good. We hung out around our hotel, got chick fil a for lunch, then went swimming at our hotel. 

These two were killing me! Linc slept in his travel bassinet -- best purchase ever ps -- so I joined them for a swim too. 

Oh my heart. 

After swimming, we got dinner at the Brickhouse pizzeria.. Seriously yum. Lincoln was fussy & tired and Olive was hyper & tired at the same time haha. At the end of dinner she was pretty zoned out.. Took ice cubes (her fave) out of Micah's glass and then dunked her toy truck into his glass and was sloshing her dripping fingers and truck across the table.. Yep and I let her. 

Total trance face! Hahaha!

We went back to the hotel room and crashed. 

Sunday, May 24th

Micah & I packed up our things and left the Ramada. Our reservations were split because the holiday weekend had things totally booked up, so we popped into the car to kill some time before our new hotel was ready for us. 

In Washington city Micah found a dog park, so we drove there & let our kiddos (Zoey and Olive that is) stretch their legs. 

I took more pics but they're on my camera.. 

We then dropped out stuff at the hotel and met up with Maegan & Austin to do a jeeping trail.

I didn't see what the trail looked like before, but when I saw it I got pretty nervous. It started out with a straight up climb and then continued with a super bumpy trail of decently hard rock crawling.. For our stock jeep at least. 

Micah and I have done MUCH more technical trails than this one but my anxiety wasn't about me being injured or the car being damaged.. It was more concerned about my 6 week old baby in the back being shaken around and his not-so-stable head being rocked this way and that. After some decent bumps and jerks I called it quits. I'd rather not give my baby brain damage thank you very much. So we headed back. Maegan & Austin left to go boating back at sand hollow and Micah & I left to get dinner. 

We ended up getting cafe rio to go, and ate back in our hotel room. Liv was exhausted and totally not excited to sleep in a pack n play.. Especially after having a huge bed to herself. Poor thing tried to climb out of it and fell smack on her face! It was so hard not to laugh at her, goodness! Micah was of course.. Such a stinker. 

Once the babes were asleep we pulled Micah's laptop up and watched a movie then fell asleep. 

Monday, May 25th

We loaded the car up with all of our stuff and headed out of the hotel around 11am. Late check out for the win! Today's plan was going on a little family hike and going through snow canyon. 

Our hike was cut pretty short unfortunately because it was all sand! Really hard to walk through as an adult but even harder for our sweet little Liv and she was getting pretty frustrated, so Micah carried her for a bit. 

Miss Liv was all cheesy grins when I played in the sand with her and she realized it was like one giant beach.. Then she lost it when we had to leave. Typical girl!

We drove through the rest of the state park and saw some beautiful sights. I love the red rock with blue skies.. Such a pretty contrast. 

We grabbed Freddy's for lunch (Micah is addicted!) and headed out of town. Our drive back was pretty uneventful and we got home around 6pm with plenty of light left in the day. It was surprisingly nice to come home to the sun being out still and being able to reorganize life before going to bed.. We typically don't get home until very very late so it was a nice change!

Very fun little trip, I'm excited for our next Memorial Day trip down to St. George!

xoxo

Mandi

Five Year Anniversary

Happy 5th Anniversary to us!

I can't believe it's already been five years! When we first got married and would m talk to people who'd been married for 5 years, they seemed way more mature than Micah and I are.. Like way more adult-ish haha! But thinking about it, we have accomplished a lot.. even if we still act like 15 year olds sometimes. ;)

In our first five years, Micah graduated college, we got a puppy, built our first house, had two kids, and I started my own business. To say we've done a lot is a crazy understatement! 

Micah was out of town right before our anni so I had some time to be sneaky and put my surprise out. 

When Micah and I built our house, we didn't really think ahead for baby toys.. And let me tell you, baby/toddler toys take up a LOT of space! So as Olive has gotten older, her toys have gotten bigger and our family room started being baby-central and it was killing Micah and I. I took the opportunity to just revamp our family room while he was gone and move all of our toys to our basement. We have a really open concept throughout our house, so the "playroom" in the basement is already framed in and accessible to us. 

First things first, I bought new furniture to complete the adult space. 

For my birthday/part of our anni gift, Micah bought new coffee tables so I went with the white theme and bought this amazing lounge from Target. I also bought the side table from there, new yellow pillows from Walmart, and the table decorations from Hobby Lobby. I actually painted the frame of the picture because it had a dark brown wooden finish on it and it totally didn't fit my theme. Btw, that globe is a chalkboard!

Next, I swept, vacuumed, and dusted the basement out. I also bought $20 area rugs from Walmart and placed them over where the toys would be so that it was more comfortable for us down there. 

Our plan this spring is to finish our basement (and backyard) so this was my first stage gift to Micah. Olive LOVED it and no joke cried when I made her come upstairs to go to bed. 

Micah came home late that night and LOVED it!!! He was so surprised, had no idea I was planning it. 

On our anni, Micah kept my gift a secret till later, but did give me these beautiful flowers.. In our wedding colors. 

For our anniversary date, Micah took me out to dinner at Ruth's Chris in Park City. My parents came to babysit for us so we didn't even have to bring the kiddos.. Soooo nice! One massive blessing with using formula vs breastfeeding... You can actually leave your newborn for more than an hour! 

Since having a second baby and our lives becoming that much more revolving around our kids, it was such a nice break from being mommy and daddy, to just be husband and wife, flirty and fun and no stresses of dirty diapers and messy toys. 

Our table was decorated with rose petals for the special occasion. 

We ordered so much food and ate every last bite of it!! 

Literally Ruth's Chris consistently makes the best steak I've ever had. Every. Single. Time. 

As we ate, Micah pulled out his gift to me.. Our wedding pictures all put into an album. This has special meaning to me because we have never had our wedding photos printed off and put into an album. My photographer changed the style of album that he would do and I hated it. On each page of the album, he merged 4-5 different images into one. It looked like a bad high school yearbook. So we never ordered it and were going back and forth with him for literally years trying to get a normal album. But in the craziness of moving into our house, having Olive, surviving that, then having Lincoln, it dropped from our thoughts. Well, mine at least. It was so fun to look back on our pictures and remember just how magical that day was. 

Our server brought us out a complimentary dessert -- anniversaries are the best! And we are even more of that deliciousness. 

I made Micah take a selfie pic with me.. He HATES them! And this one was my favorite.. Not because we look really cute (we both look like goobers actually) but because we were both laughing so hard and having such a good time, it makes me want to frame it and look at it every day. 

I love this man so incredibly much. What a blessing he is in my life and our kids lives. 

Here's to hoping that in five more years we'll be way more mature!  ;)

xoxo

Mandi

Lincoln + Nursing

Fair warning.. I'm talking boobs here! 

Since his time in the hospital, Linc & I haven't had success with nursing. He was considered LGA (large for gestational age) since he weighed 9lbs and had his sugar levels checked every couple of hours to make sure he would be able to maintain them on his own. Unfortunately, because his sugars were low, he was really sleepy. Instead of the typical newborn wanting to eat every 2 hours, he would sleep for a solid 6 without eating, then would only nurse for a couple of minutes, just to take the edge of hungry off, then he'd fall right back asleep. The first night in the hospital we had no clue that he had any issues so we were loving the easy sleeper and felt semi like normal humans on our second day. Well, as time progressed, Linc didn't improve and we had to supplement (I went into more detail about our time in the hospital in my previous post). Lincoln was just too tired and didn't have the energy or patience for nursing. 

Nothing was more shocking and heartbreaking to me than this, especially as I was actually producing milk (unlike with Livi) and yet he didn't want me. But, because I really wanted him to be breastfed, I pumped. Every 2-3 hours, everyday for his whole one month of life so far. 

If you aren't familiar with pumping, lemme just warn you of the horror that is pumping.. It hurts, takes forever, doesn't let your milk come down naturally, and is 100% awful. 

So couple all that crap with having a toddler who wants to play or color or whatever PLUS taking care of your newborn, PLUS taking care of a dog, PLUS feeling like you've been hit by a bus and wrung out and completely exhausted.. To say it was really hard would be a massive understatement. 

I met with a lactation specialist who was really wonderful with helping Linc and me figure out how to make it work.. He learned how to suck wrongly when he was a newborn so he would never latch correctly and he'd get super frustrated because he was starving and wanted instant gratification. Typical boy  ;P  so with her help, he nursed for 30 minutes in her office and I was ecstatic! She gave me some tips and tricks to get him to nurse at home & I left feeling really hopeful and proud of my body & son for working together. 

Once I was home however, was a different story. To get him to latch and nurse, it was a process that took about 45 minutes total, to finish nursing. Then when he didn't fully drain my milk I had to pump after which would take 20 minutes. Doing the whole feeding process of over an hour, dedicating all my attention and care to Linc or my pump and having to do it every 2-3 hours.. That's all I was doing and literally could not take care of Olive. As much as I wanted with every fiber of my being to nurse, I just couldn't do that to Livi. I made the painful decision to switch to all formula & supplement with breastmilk for as long as I could pump for. I know that formula isn't poison, that millions of babies are brought up on it everyday and they turn out just great.. Livi was one of those and I think she's perfect. ;)  But because I couldn't nurse as long as I wanted with Livi, I really really wanted it to be different with Linc. It broke my heart to "give up" but I knew it was the best decision for my family time to be divided evenly. 

Over the next few days I pumped like normal, introduced formula slowly, and divided my time as well as possible. 

One small complication... I developed mastitis. Seriously. Because I can't have anything go smoothly! Goodness. Oh and to top things off, my 5 year anniversary was just around the corner. Ugh. I wouldn't wish mastitis on my worst enemy.. I'm serious, it's terrible. I had a fever of 102+, headaches & body aches like I had the flu, and also my right breast was dying.. Like hot poker stabs of pain with also the tight feeling like someone crushed my boob. So freakin painful. Every movement with my right arm was painful, laying down hurt, walking hurt.. Everything sucked. So we went to instacare, got antibiotics, and I decided to be done with pumping. The reason I got mastitis with this time around vs. when I had Livi, is that with breastfeeding, your milk comes down differently and you get properly "drained" and with pumping you have to massage your breasts and really work at your boobs to make sure you get all the milk every time. You have a higher chance of getting mastitis when you exclusively pump, vs with breastfeeding. I never EVER want to get mastitis again so I decided that I would taper off of pumping and be done with it. After about 24 hours the antibiotics started to do their magic and I could actually breathe without pain.  Lincoln really likes formula thankfully so it was a relatively easy transition for him and me. 

Fingers crossed everything is smooth sailing from here on out. 

xoxo

Mandi

Lincoln's Birth Story: Part 2

Friday, April 3rd. 

Today is the day!

I woke up at 6am to call the hospital and was told I could go in at 8:00am-8:30am. 

Micah hadn't packed yet so he quickly packed while I got Livi up and dressed for the day. She's pretty shy/nervous around people when she first sees them and I was scared she'd be clinging to me when she saw Dianne out on the couch, but she was actually really smiley and ok with her thank goodness. I had a really hard time saying goodbye to her.. Seriously how do you leave this little sweet thing?

 

Dianne brought over some fun new things for Liv so she was super distracted and we slipped out while she was playing with her new baby and Minnie Mouse shoes. 

Around 9am we got to the hospital and checked in and went to our room, got into the super sexy gown, and got comfy. 

My nurse and a student came in to start my IV around 10am aaaaaaand it was pretty rough. The student tried to place the IV but couldn't get it. My veins are awesome ps and have zero problems popping out or roll when I'm getting blood draws or IV's. Soooooo yeah this was totally new for me and incredibly painful. She blew the vein (which means it was no longer viable to use for the IV and I had pretty decent bleeding) and the nurse had to take over. My nurse placed the IV although she had problems too.. It would only push fluid thru if she pulled the tubing back a bit.. I think she placed it right into a valve. Oh the joys! Then my nurse went to check my dilation and seriously felt like she was reaching for my brain. Goodness! It was the worst pelvic check I've ever had. Ugh. Things were really looking up from the very beginning haha! But I was still at a 2, about 50% effaced. 

Once the pitocin started flowing it was just a waiting game. 

Micah and I listened to my little man's heart beat and caught up on some of our tv shows. 

Micah slept for a little while... Aka for like 2 hours!

I played on my Nintendo DS & Pinterest. I slept so crappy the night before and had just barely managed to nod off but then a nurse came in and asked if I needed anything. Seriously! I didn't page anyone, she didn't check any of my levels or anything. Uuuugh so annoying! No sleep for me.  :(

Around 1:00pm a doctor rounding came in to break my water. She started to attempt it and I just about leaped off the bed.. It was SO painful! I forgot when I had my water broken with Liv I had already had my epidural. Sooo that was next up on the agenda. 

The anesthesiologist, Dr. Edwards, came in around 1:30pm and put my epidural in. Last time my epidural wasn't done correctly.. It twisted around in my back 180 degrees so it was pointing to my head not my hips, so by the time I was pushing to have Livi, I literally felt everything. I had an unintentional natural birth. Kill me. This time, the doc was way more efficient. He took small steps, talked to me the whole time through, and did it just right. 

The nurses turned my pitocin up to 22 after that and let the contractions rage on. I was dilated to a 3. 

At 3:00pm my doctor came in to check on me and broke my water. Way better being mostly numb than feeling that torture!! 

We waited and waited and waited. I got so hungry, only able to eat ice cubes and gross popsicles.  :( 

Seriously the worst "food" ever. 

At 5:00pm I had dilated to a 5 and had effaced 80%. Moooore waiting.

At 7:20pm I was still only a 5, close to a 6, and still only 80% effaced. My doc placed a monitor just inside my uterus to determine the strength of the contractions to see if they could up the pitocin more, without stressing out our little man. 

At 8:00pm they determined it was safe enough and my contractions were intense enough that they could increase it, so they upped the dose to 26. 

Just after that I started feeling incredibly nauseated. I hadn't eaten all day and had only eaten a muffin for breakfast. When I don't eat regularly it really affects me so I asked my nurse for zofran. At the same time, my contractions started getting really intense and my epidural stopped being as effective. When my nurse came in, I asked her to call the anesthesiologist for me too.. While we waited I genuinely began to have a mini panic moment.. Ok a major panic moment. I was really weak from not eating and was in a lot of pain.. Not to mention I remembered how painful Olive's birth was and I really was scared of the coming hours. As I lay on the bed waiting, the words from the blessing I was given just the night before popped into my head, of strength and that everything would be alright.. I took a lot of comfort from that and prayed that I'd be strong enough to handle Lincoln's birth.

The anesthesiologist came in around 9:00pm and redosed me as my nurse gave me zofran. My nurse checked me and I had dilated to a 9+, fully effaced! No wonder I was feeling like dying! 

Dianne brought dinner for Micah right then so he ran downstairs and came back up & quickly ate.. Right by me! Jerk. I was so hungry. 

My doctor came in and we chatted for a little bit while the nurses set up everything for the birth. It was such a surreal and different moment than my last experience.. I was in so much pain last time I didn't even see any set up or care to have small talk with the nurses. This time I was properly numb and actually really enjoyed myself. The staff was laughing and joking and Dr. Hutchison (my OB) was really laid back. It was exactly what I needed. 

At 9:50pm my doc had me start to push! Micah held my right leg and the nurse held my left. They have you push during contractions for 10 seconds, 3 times. I was numb enough to not feel the pain of the contractions, but yet aware enough of when they were happening. I could feel pressure not pain, which is exactly what they want you to be at. SUCH a difference than last time!! 

After about 5 minutes of really really easy pushing, Lincoln's head was out! Again, last time I was in so much pain I didn't care to see Olive until after I had pushed her out.. But this time I leaned forward and saw my beautiful little man.. Rephrase, BIG man! His head looked huge with lots of dark hair! But just when I thought I was in the homestretch, Dr. Hutch had me stop. He was really serious and said to just not push, to just breathe. The umbilical chord was wrapped around Lincoln's neck.. Twice. Hutch tried to move it around to be able to loop it off of his head but it was just too tight. He had Micah quickly step up and cut the chord then he pulled Linc out. 

They placed Lincoln on my chest and I was a ball of tears! He was big and warm, such a blessing and miracle baby. As I looked down at his pudgy cheeks, I realized he was really blue! He wasn't crying and wasn't moving.. The nurses took him from me to clean him off and my heart was racing. Micah and I glanced at each other, exchanged a look of concern and he went over and see if Linc was doing alright. Dr. Hutchison was cleaning me up as I heard Lincoln's first little cry. He was alright! Such a relief! Micah took some pictures of him and stayed by his side as they cleaned him off and did their tests. He scored really low on the apgar test because he wasn't very responsive at first and really wasn't a good "healthy" color. After a few minutes though he gained better color and was more active, thank goodness. 

He was 9lbs and 20.5in. Big boy!

My doctor and nurses left the room to give Micah and I time with our new perfect little son. I nursed him and Micah held him and we were able to enjoy some alone time, just the three of us. I really wish we had done that with Olive, but my whole family was already waiting outside the doors and literally came in minutes after I had Olive. This was the way to go. So laid back and mellow, just us. 

We were moved to a new room on the new mom's unit at midnight and my family met us there. My sweet amazing sister brought me In N Out burger & fries, yessss!!!! They stayed for only a little bit then left so we could have our rest. Surprisingly I wasn't very tired anymore.. I felt really really good.. And I hadn't even taken any pain meds yet! Just like a work out, child birth gives you a rush of endorphins.  ;)

Micah and I settled into our room and a nurse came to check on Lincoln around 2am. She told us he had a heart murmur and he'd need to be checked more thoroughly with a blood pressure check on each limb. She also said his blood sugars were a little low and because he was LGA (large for gestational age) they would need to monitor that every few hours to make sure he could maintain his sugars on his own. Olive was also LGA so the blood sugars wasn't too concerning to me, but the heart murmur scared me. I said a little prayer in my heart as they wheeled him away. 

We went to sleep after she brought Lincoln back from checking him.. Everything looked alright but they would need to repeat the murmur test the next morning. She said heart murmurs are really common and that they close up in most babies on their 2nd or 3rd day of life, which gave me a lot of relief. Fingers crossed Linc fell under that "common" category. 

Saturday, April 4th. 

The next few times I nursed Lincoln, he really didn't want anything to do with me & would lose it anytime I tried. He'd actually push me away and arch his back to pull off. So strange. 

I had help from three different nurses, each of whom said I had perfect "equipment" hahaha and that Lincoln didn't have anything physically inhibiting him from nursing.. They couldn't figure out why he wouldn't do it. 

He finally had a successful nursing sesh after several hours without him eating. It wasn't anything incredibly long or record breaking, but I was SO happy and proud of him and us! My little man was just a sleepy babe and would frequently fall asleep so we had to be super annoying to him to keep him awake. I put a cold wet wipe on his back, Micah played the Zelda theme song loudly (his nickname is Linc and that's the main character in the game Zelda.. Not intentionally named after that video game ps). 

Finally that milk coma face. 

Micah gave Lincoln his first sponge bath, cleaned all the gunk out of his hair. He's got a lot of it!

Don't mind my swollen feet  :(

My parents and Dianne & Lynn came by with Olive and I thought my heart was going to explode! I missed my sweet little Livi so much, it was so good to see her and head her darling little voice again. She was really curious about Lincoln, she wanted to steal his binky immediately haha but also really wanted to hold him. Such a sweet little soul. 

Saturday day was a bit of a blur.. Spent attempting to nurse Lincoln and having friends and family come to visit. 

Linc slept the whole night and morning without a peep.. Which was awesome yet a big problem. 

Sunday Morning 

Around 8am I tried to nurse & he just wouldn't do it. They checked his blood sugars again & it was just barely low. They need to be 45 and above and his had all been hovering around that number. The pediatrician on-call said we couldn't go home, that they needed to monitor Linc more and also that if he wasn't nursing that we had to supplement. Our other options were either an IV or a GI tube. We chose formula supplement. 

We started him on a bottle of formula and he took it pretty well, a little weirded out by it at first, but drank the amount they wanted him to. 

An hour later they checked his sugar and it was up to 72. Huge difference! It also sadly sealed our fate that he needed supplementing. 

We found out that the reason he didn't want to nurse was because his blood sugars were so low, he was just exhausted. He had no energy to even want to eat. 

Around lunch time on Sunday I was discharged and we were sent upstairs to the nursery so that Lincoln could stay monitored. 

My parents and Lynn & Dianne came to give Lincoln a blessing. I was so drained emotionally and physically, so sad for my little man and so worried about our future I just couldn't relax. I was also truly a bit depressed because of the turn of events. I wanted to nurse him so badly & have that connection with him, be able to provide for him and be a better success story than my last nursing attempts so badly.. I felt like I was failing him already. The moment the blessing was finished I had an amazing feeling of relief wash over me. Micah was the one to give Lincoln the blessing and once again I had an overwhelming sense of love and comfort. We hugged our parents and said thank you's and they left. 

Dianne also brought us Cafe Rio and it was truly the best salad I've ever had in my life. I don't even like their salads but this one was incredible. 

Up in the nursery, Linc had to be on constant monitoring, hooked up to the machine and sleeping right by it. The "bed" that Micah and I got to sleep on was a tiny fold out couch. Awesome. My parents brought out a camping mattress that Micah slept on, on the floor. We both had a terrible night's rest but Lincoln was getting taken care of so that's all that mattered truly. 

After one of the feedings during the night, I was staring at Lincoln thru the walls of his plastic crib, feeling really badly for him and our situation. I couldn't even begin to fathom how hard it must be on those parents of very sick babies that need months of hospital time. It was as I was staring at him that he gave me this adorable smile and I managed to grab a quick picture. 

It was my little solace from him saying "I'm ok mommy". 

I started doing a different form of supplementing, where they taped a tiny tube onto my breast, which was attached to a bottle of formula. The process would drip formula very slowly from the tube, and the trick was Lincoln would be nursing on me, but getting formula as well as breastmilk. It took a lot of time setting up.. And I was doing it every 3 hours for about 40 minutes.. Which meant I slept like a turd, but at least Lincoln was eating. 

Monday, April 6th. 

The following day his blood sugars were perfect, heart murmur was cleared up, and I was feeling alright about the transitional nursing/supplementing process. 

We loaded him up into the carseat and packed the car. Homeward bound!

When we walked inside our house, Liv was immediately reaching out for Lincoln. She wanted to hold him!

These two are going to be best buddies, I can tell. 

Hopefully Lincoln will figure out nursing and I'll survive mommyhood to two kids!

xoxo

Mandi

Lincoln's Birth Story: Part 1

I wish that I had kept a better record of Olive's birth, so I figured I'd make up for it with Lincoln.

My original due date was April 8th and my pregnancy overall went really smoothly leading up to the big day. With Liv, I had nausea/morning sickness & hip pain from the very beginning and the delivery was a super lengthy process. This time around I wasn't nauseated at all, only threw up once (literally 5 days after conception, before I even knew I was pregnant. Super weird). My hips started hurting at like 20 weeks, and I barely got the dark line, linea negra, around 30 weeks. 

Because this was my second baby & Olive was huge, my doc set the schedule to induce me on April 3rd, 5 days early. Let me rephrase.. I scheduled myself haha. He had no concerns about needing to induce me early, just out of convenience to me.  ;)  love my OB. 

I packed the hospital bag right after that and basically waited until the day. 

Micah had a lot of traveling in March (for work) so naturally I totally thought I'd go into labor when he wasn't home. 

At my 37 week appt my doc checked my cervix and I had started dilating! Nothing earth shattering, I was measured to a 1, but With Liv I didn't dilate at all until I was in the hospital on a pitocin drip.. So that was super exciting! Later that same night I started having contractions.. Not just Braxton Hicks but actual real labor contractions. And if you're wondering, no it doesn't feel good.. At all! Every 10-15 minutes or so I would get a fresh wave of contractions, lasting for a couple of minutes each time. Two hours passed and they finally diminished and stopped. 

The next week Micah left for Texas and wouldn't be back till Thursday, almost exactly 1 week before my induction date. I'm typically really ok when he leaves for work travel.. He has to go about once every month and a half or so but only for a couple of days at a time.. But goodness, it was SO hard to say goodbye to him this time! 

The week passed by without incident and surprisingly was really easy. I had a lot of distractions (thank goodness!) so the days slipped by very quickly. 

At my 38 week appt I was dilated even more, no doubt from the 2 hours worth of contractions inexperienced. I was measuring at about a 2, so my body was definitely prepping. 

We finished Lincoln's nursery, stocked our fridge and pantry with food, and waited for Linc to make his appearance. 

On Sunday March 29th I had more contractions but these only lasted about 20 minutes. They were right up there with the last ones though for discomfort! I just kept thinking, "oh this labor will be fun!"

On Tuesday, March 31st I was busy busy busy all day. We dropped off Zoey to my sister's house so that Dianne & my mom wouldn't have any allergy issues. I got into serious spring cleaning mode and cleaned out all the drawers and cabinets in my kitchen, wiped down all the counters, and swiffered + steam cleaned my hardwood. No doggy germs for my mom-in-law & mom! I'm not sure if it was because I was moving around so much or what, but Linc was pushing downward SO much that day! I also noticed when I would go pee that my mucus plug was coming out. Fyi, that sounds far more gross than it actually is. Just another sign my body is totally gearing up for labor. Woo!

The following morning I scheduled a couple of people to come thru and help me deep clean. The first was a super sweet woman to do some basic but exhausting cleaning for me of baseboards & dusting, then some general cleaning. I've never hired someone to come clean my house before... Ever... So it was a little uncomfortable for me at first to just sit around while someone else cleaned my house... But she was really talkative (not annoyingly so but just right) so I got over the weird little hump pretty fast. 

She left after a couple of hours and round two came thru. 

Since Zoey is a dog with fur and dander, I wanted to deep clean our carpets and get as much of the doggy-ness out as possible. I randomly found Longhurst Carpet Cleaners on FB and scheduled them to come out. I'm not gonna lie, I was super sketched out at first when they pulled up in a real hearse (no joke) and they looked a little rough around the edges, but they did an amazing job. It was only $99 for my whole house (the carpets I mean) to be cleaned. They also cleaned all of my rugs which was an added bonus.  :)

After the craziness settled and carpets dried, I headed out for a little last hurrah with my sister Jess. We just chatted and laughed and got some red mango frozen yogurt amazingness and it was SO much fun to just relax without the babies and talk. My sister is one of the few people in my life that gets me 100% and there is literally not an ounce of judgement on any spectrum and I freakin love it. And her. 

On Thursday April 2nd, both my parents and Micah's parents came over to give me a blessing and talk about the prep for this weekend. It's always something that we take for granted, but once we actually need our parents for help, they never cease to amaze me at their willingness and instant selflessness. 

Micah, with the help from my dad, & father-in-law gave me such a wonderful priesthood blessing. When we were dating, Micah and I would go to the temple pretty often as dates and he would do a lot of the confirmations, or blessings for me, and even baptize me when we would do proxy work for the dead. I remember writing in my journal (and can read about it in my journal) about how I felt so incredibly close to him and God when we would go and I would feel of his connection to the Lord. It's something very very personal and close to my heart so I don't broadcast it very much, but it is something that I didn't even realize at the time, but is so important to me in my life... To have my husband and the father of my children be so connected to God and able to bless our family in times of need or comfort. When Micah started giving me the blessing I felt an immediate sense of comfort as he spoke. My nerves had been aaaaaaaaall over the place that day and as we talked more and more about leaving Olive and the induction process it truthfully was really giving me anxiety. But Micah's blessing was exactly what I needed. 

We hugged and thanked our parents for coming out & they left after a little while. Dianne (my mother-in-law) stayed as she was going to start tending Olive the following morning for us. 

Sleep didn't come easy for me because it's me... And it's like anticipating Christmas so you can't really tell your stupid brain to stop processing, goodness. 

Finally around 1am sleep came and I was out. Till 6am when I had to call the hospital to see when I could come in. At first the nurse told me to call back at 8:00am-8:30am to see when I could come in. I was suuuuuper annoyed because I have a really hard time falling back asleep after I wake up in the mornings.. Especially for only 2 hours. Ugh. But I knew it was a possibility if they were swamped and wasn't mad at the nurse obviously but just the situation. So I set my alarms again and rolled over, when my phone started ringing again. It was the hospital saying the first nurse phrased it wrong & they wanted me to BE AT the hospital at 8:00-8:30. Whew! Thank goodness!!

So I laid in bed for another half hour or so then realized I wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon, & got up to get ready for the day. 

Livi will sleep in till 8:00-9:00 most days and so on the one hand I was a little bummed about the timing to leave because I'd only see her for like 2 minutes before we had to leave and I didn't want to make things harder for her to adjust without us.. Oh leaving my little mini is the HARDEST thing ever!!

To help me cope while I'm away I took some pics with her the day before..

Liv and I rocking the "model face". She kills me. 

We got up & had a tiny breakfast (as big as I was allowed) and gave Liv some last minute loving before slipping out as Dianne fed her breakfast. 

To the hospital we go!!

xoxo

Mandi